Comic transcript
Broccoli and Waffles sit at the tea table in the white void across from Student.
Broccoli: Alright Student, now that we’ve established who are you are what you are here to do, We have a very important question for you. Are you Evil?
Waffles: This is important
Student: Explain.
Broccoli: Evil is when…you know…like–like it’s when…Actually you’re probably better suited to explain this one?
Waffles: I am? Oh right! Of course. I am very evil.
Waffles pauses a bit.
Student: Explai–
Waffles: I AM THINKING
3 hours later…
Broccoli: Okay so yeah are you kind of starting to get it now? I don’t see how we could make this any more clear.
Student: Explain…more…
Broccoli: We've beat explaining for HOURS
Waffles: Are you even paying attention?
Broccoli: Perhaps we are going about this the wrong way. Student may be more of a hands-on
learner
Waffles: In that case…Let is use THE DUCK!
Broccoli: Ah yes, the duck! How could I forget?
Waffles and Broccoli procure a rubber duck and give it to Student to hold.
Broccoli: Alright Student, this is a test
Waffles: A test to see if you are Good or Evil.
Broccoli: Pick up the duck. Hold it gently
Waffles: Yes you must hold it gently
Broccoli: Take note of its exact weight
Waffles: And color
Broccoli: And dimensions. Do you understand Student?
Student: We… understand…
Broccoli: Okay–now we need you to WAIT STUDENT
Waffles: STUDENT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Student swallows the rubber duck whole.
Broccoli: NOOOOOO
Waffles: Huh…Looks like the results were inconclusive
Broccoli: What were we doing again?
Waffles: Okay forget the whatever it was–can you just tell us if you’re Good or Evil?
Student: We don’t…know…You are…Experts…on…the subject…of GOOD and EVIL…so…what…do YOU think? Are we Evil?
Broccoli: I…
Waffles: Oh you’re Evil for sure
Broccoli: Waffles don’t say that! Student…You’ve done a lot of Evil things…
Student: Evil things…
Broccoli: But you’ve done a lot of Polite and Good things as well
Student: Polite and Good things as well
Broccoli: I want to describe you as “neutral”
Waffles: But Nothing is neutral
Broccoli: Nothing is neutral yeah…
Waffles: I mean you’re an ancient enemy of God, you siphon the energy out of everything you touch, and you’re made of darkness. That’s classic Evil stuff
Broccoli: Okay, counterpoint…Cute yellow hat
Waffles: True…
Broccoli: Maybe what you are doesn’t matter so much…what really matters is what you choose to be. So choose to be Polite and Good like me! Join me Student. Together, we can make the Universe a better place
Waffles: NAH THAT’S LAME!!! YOU SHOULD JOIN ME AND MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE! I…never had a father…Or a son, for that matter. Even though I’m not sure which you are, I know you are one of those things! Perhaps even both!
Student: Both?
Waffles: YES! Join me, DAD-SON! Together we will usher in a NEW AGE of ULTIMATE EVIL! So what’s it gonna be? Huh? Huh? Dumb idiot poppet that isn’t even that good anyway?
Broccoli: L-Look I’m trying my best
Waffles: Or Waffles Abbandon, Princes of Darkness!
Student: Hmm
Student points at Broccoli, selecting them. Broccoli is a happy they.
Broccoli: yay!
Waffles: WHAT! B-But we’re family! WHY?
Student: You’re…loud
Broccoli: You made the right choice, Student. I’m proud of you.
Waffles: You would betray…your own son…and/or father. How…Evil…I think I’m proud of you as well.
Comments (63)
Finally, a chart.
But we have no reference for where the chart would go on the chart.
I think the chart is polite and evil.
The chart falls under math, so it should be polite and evil. Though, it did make my face go :D, which is polite and good, so perhaps it’s closer to the center. Certainly polite, though.
perhaps math itself is evil but stuff made out of math can be good?
Love the newly-developed field of politology
The 𝓟𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓮ical Spectrum Chart
does the center dictate that at the absolute 0,0 point there is something that is neutral?
it's a non-contiguous chart (the concept of non-contiguous charts is impolite and evil)
The center point is conceptually neutral, and the concept of neutral is evil, so at exactly 0,0 things are in fact evil (but neither impolite nor polite)
D- did student eating the duck make broccoli and waffles forget the duck ever existed??
I think, quite possibly, yes. Is that why someone who is no one, or Nothing, wants to learn everything? To understand everything? Like they did that duck?
Oh wait, I think it worked for me too, I didn't notice!
They are nothing, so when they understand something I guess they have to make it become nothing too? Like a blackhole consuming a star, or anti matter meeting matter. Except it also works for memories of the thing. Hopefully it only worked on that one rubber duck and not the entire concept of rubber ducks or something.
If Student is the opposite of Doris, and Doris is polite and good, then one would think Student is impolite and bad. However, Student seems more neutral to me. My thought is that Doris is everything, and Student is nothing. Both everything and nothing are different kinds of neutral. So... Is Doris not polite and good? She does polite and good things, but she also causes harm through her lack of empathy. I think her rigid ideas of what is polite and good is a way to overcompensate for the fact that she herself is not objectively polite and good.
I like we get to see an in-between of good and evil. I think Student may be my favourite character for that. (I believe I'm neutral)
Nothing is neutral tho
But Student is of nothing so that makes sense.
I mean
Student did come from "nothing" soooo
student chose broccoli :0000000
this episode was so silly, so wonderful! i’m sad that it sounds like this is a stopping point, but i’m glad it doesn’t end on too much of a cliffhanger! here’s hoping that the hiatus is brief; but ofc, take the time you need ^^