Comic transcript

Broccoli and Olive are walking down a dirt path away from the greenhouse full of talkative plants. Larger trees with faces turn to watch them as they pass.

Broccoli: I’m sorry for all the trouble. I feel really awful.

Olive: Think nothing of it! I practically live at the infirmary. I’m just… so happy you’re alive!

Olive looks very happy. To a degree where Broccoli is somewhat uncomfortable.

Broccoli: Right! Thank you very much for that! I don’t want to be impolite and bad.

The pair’s journey takes them through a small plant town of stone buildings, one of which has a small red window. It seems like everyone is watching them.

Broccoli: So… demons, huh?

Olive: Let’s wait until we’re somewhere more private…

As the sun is setting, they make it to the coast. Broccoli is fascinated by all the blades of grass in the meadow, which all have eyes and are looking around. There are bunnies munching on small, helpless sprouts.

Small Helpless Sprout: AHHHHH!

Olive: HEY! Go away! Shoo!

The bunnies hop away.

Olive: Anyway, welcome to my place!

The opening of a cave yawns before them.

Broccoli: You live inside of a…

Olive: Dark and scary cave? Oh! Haha… Yes.

They step inside, but Olive lingers by the entrance, looking once more outside the cave.

Olive: It’s… nice and quiet.

Broccoli curls up against the cave walls. Water drips from the ceiling.

Olive: Please help yourself to some dirt.

Broccoli: NO I DON’T THINK I WILL. Can you please just explain. What. Exactly… What is the Fire Demon?

Olive becomes quietly furious, with a determined look on their face. We get a glimpse into a vision of a fire burning an endless field of living creatures.

Olive: A horrible demon. Who scorches the earth in his hatred. Damning the souls of all who he burns.

Broccoli’s eyes have gone glassy.

Olive: Any sane person would have run.

Broccoli: I was looking for my room-stick! All my things are there! My guide. Snacks. My way home! It is IMPERATIVE that I obtain my room-stick AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Olive: …

Broccoli: You didn’t happen to see it, did you?

Olive: No. I did find… whatever this is.

Olive procures Broccoli’s camera.

Broccoli: Oh yay!

They scramble over and take a quick selfie with Olive.

Broccoli: Oh yeah, that’s a keeper!

Olive: …Alright! That’s enough! We need to talk about who you are.

Broccoli: Oh right! My name is Broccoli

Olive: No one’s going to buy that here. At least go by Cauliflower or something.

Broccoli: Huh?

Olive: I saw you fall from the sky.

Broccoli: Oh geez really? Aaaaa that’s so embarrassing—

Olive: Did the Queen of Everything send you to slay the Demon? Are you the fabled Princess? …I won’t tell anyone.

Broccoli: I uhm… I think you have mistaken me for someone else… I am very Polite and Good. I do not slay things.

Olive catches a glimpse of the red knife in Broccoli’s pocket, which they try to hide.

Olive: …Is that a knife?

Broccoli: No.

Olive: Why do you carry a knife?

Broccoli: What knife?

Olive: That One.

Broccoli pulls out the knife and points to it.

Broccoli: This one?

Olive: Yes.

Broccoli: It’s uh, you know. It’s just… It’s… in case I ever run into… any… CAKE!

Olive: I see.

They walk over to a side of the cave with many trinkets and baubles.

Olive: I am not a fool, Princess.

They pull out a parchment with a detailed description of the knife that Broccoli found in Doris’ room.

Olive: You carry the Godkiller Knife.​​ The legendary knife that is so sharp, it can cut through anything. Even the FABRIC OF REALITY.

They reveal a second parchment, with a depiction of a very Broccoli-shaped figure with button eyes, holding the knife and framed by a red eye.

Olive: A knife wielded only by the Princess—who is you!

Broccoli: That… does look an awful lot like me—

Olive: It IS you!

Broccoli: But—

Olive: Are you NOT a hero most Polite and Good? Who battles darkness? Defends the desperate? Who has tea with the creator of the universe?

Broccoli: …

Olive: …

Broccoli: Well, I guess. Maybe… I am here to help?

Olive is overjoyed.

Broccoli: I can do lots of cool things with my cake knife. Like rip holes in spacetime!

They demonstrate by slicing the air, ripping a hole in the universe and causing a bunch of water and fish to pour out. Broccoli is thoroughly drenched and tries to force the tear shut, but can’t seem to close it. Water leaks out and coats the floor.

Broccoli: Ok, full disclosure, I don’t know anything about anything.

Olive: That’s ok! You have me!

Broccoli: I do?

Olive: I have been hunting this demon for SEVEN YEARS. If you are here to help, then I am… uhm… I am at your service!

Broccoli, soaked, drops the knife to the ground with a clang.