Comic transcript
Waffles: Whatcha makin?
Waffles: Not that I care
Broccoli: It's pants! For my matching hats and socks!
Waffles: You actually like knitting?
Broccoli: Yeah!
Broccoli: Doris was right. It feels nice to make something
Broccoli: And it'll ve cool to wear something besides this plain white gown-
SFX: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Broccoli: Who is it?
Lady Doris: IT'S ME
Lady Doris: DORIS
Broccoli: Oh!
Broccoli: LOOK AT MY PANTS
Lady Doris: Incredible
Broccoli: You were gone for longer than usual...
Lady Doris: yes...
Lady Doris: I would have liked to have come sooner... but lots of
Lady Doris: things
Lady Doris: are happening
Lady Doris: Everywhere
Lady Doris: all the time...
Lady Doris: You understand
Broccoli: It is important to give yourself a break, Lady Doris
Broccoli: besides-
Broccoli: There is ALWAYS time for tea!
Lady Doris: yes...
Lady Doris: What a Polite and Good thing of you to say...
Lady Doris: I actually came here to tell you that you will be coming on trial
Broccoli: I HAVE DONE NOTHING YOU CAN PROVE
Lady Doris: I need you to be a lawyer
Broccoli: Oh...
Gift of Knowledge: Lawyer - One with intimate knowledge of the rules who serves in court
Broccoli: The rules...
Broccoli: Lady Doris I don't know the rules!
Lady Doris: They're in the book I gave you
Lady Doris: Remember?
Broccoli: Wait-
~ A page from "A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO ALL that is polite $ Good" ~
The Ideal Rules for you to Remember and Obey
1- Doris is your best friend
2- You do not have other best friendsd, only Doris
3- You cannot have other best friends because they aren't even real
4- Don't call Doris mean names because she is you best friend and she loves you
5- Be back in time for tea
6- Don't kill anybody (you can kill bugs though)
7- Don't kill yourself
8- Don't listen to Waffles because he is impolite and bad
9- Allow NO ONE into the VOID
10- Be Honest
11- Be Kind
12- Ask polite questions (like how is the weather?)
13- Remember that Tea is Good
14- Do not wear your tea boots
15- Number 14 is very important
16- Teach as many poeople as you can how to make tea
17- Be afraid of the dark. Be very afraid.
18- Dance when you see a bee: It is how they communicate
19- Don't stare at the moon
20- Knock before entering
21- Say at least one nice thing to every person you meet
22- Every problem you have can be solved by knitting something
23- If you ever see three floating rings, run away, and report to me of its whereabouts
24- Don't break any rules
25- Be Polite and Good
26- Never change
~ end of page ~
Broccoli: These are the rules?
Broccoli: Being a lawyer will be easy!
Broccoli: LADY DORIS!
Lady Doris: I have to go
Broccoli: But you just got here!
Lady Doris: Here's the case files
Lady Doris: You have eight hours to prepare your case
Lady Doris: Best of luck!
Lady Doris: I love you
Broccoli: Love you more
Lady Doris: No you don't...\
Broccoli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Waffles: Better start studying rhetoric
Broccoli: But I haven't even had a proper teatime!
Broccoli: I'm all messed up!
Waffles: You know, putting fancy stuff INTO your mouth wont make fancy stuff come OUT of it
Broccoli: Maybe there is a LAWYERING section...
Broccoli: FOUND IT
~ A page from "A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO ALL that is polite and Good" ~
LAWYERS
Stats:
Politeness: 10
Goodness: 0
Featherless bipeds which can be found in the COURTROOM.
The most distinguishable feature of the lawyer is the tailored suit and tie.
A lawyer's suit functions as camouflage, to help disguise them as someone with morals.
Want to sound like a lawyer? Object to things. Say "Objection!"
Try it at home with a friend.
~ end of page ~
Broccoli: I need to make a suit!
Waffles: HA!
Waffles: You can crochet little hats and things, sure, but there's so way you can make something THAT high-caliber.
Broccoli: Objection!
Broccoli: How do I look?
Waffles: wow...
Waffles: That's actually pretty good
Waffles: ALMOST AS GOOD AS MINE
Broccoli: WHAT-
Waffles: -w-
Broccoli: W-WHAT IS THAT?
Waffles: It's a court summons
Waffles: We are being summoned
Broccoli: summoned?
cat 1: POPPET
cat 2: POPPET!
cat 3: POPPET!
cat 4: POPPET!
cat 5: POPPET
cat 6: POPPET!
Broccoli: Um...
Broccoli: H-hello.
cat 6: LOOK AT THEM!
cat 5: OH MY STARS
cat 4: WHAT A CUTIE!
cat 3: CAN WE PET IT??
cat 2: AWWW
cat 1: so small-
Pancake: BE SILENT!
Pancake: We are all here today...
Pancake: BECAUSE A COSMIC CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITED
Pancake: BUT EVEN THE WICKED DESERVE A FAIR TRIAL
Pancake: This child of the VOID is here on official court business!
Pancake: THEY WILL BE...
Pancake: DEFENDING THE ACCUSED
Pancake: And actingm as prosecutor you know him, our most Uncivil Servant-
Pancake: WAFFLES ABBADDON!
Waffles: I'm doing this for fun
Pancake: And of course, sitting on the throne in ALL HER PERFECTION...
Pancake: LADY DORIS
Pancake: Is far too busy to attend!
cat 1: she never comes to these things anymore...
Pancake: I will be in her stead
Pancake: As I am her favorite <3
Pancake: CONVINCE ME...
Pancake: If I find the accused POLITE and GOOD
Pancake: They shall go free with a warning...
Broccoli: Oh cool-
Pancake: BUT
Pancake: IF NOT
Pancake: N O W . . .
Pancake: HOW IS THE WEATHER?









Comments (28)
Prepare thyself
JUDGEMENT!
I'd never thought I'd see an Ultrakill reference here
DIE!
THY END IS NOW!
This is such a White Diamond thing to do lmao
Fits her though!
Steven universe reference?
...Did Broccoli manage to read the case files in time?
Oh dear. This might be more difficult. Well, maybe Waffles gets found Guilty instead?
hmmm... it says to avoid three floating rings, and to report them to Doris. In the spoilers section of the Everything Store, we saw three donuts held up by string (three floating rings?) and the things in the spoiler section appear to show up later in the story (they are spoilers after all), such as the crown representing the princess and the doll and string likely representing Broccoli. I'm not entirely sure what the Waffles in a cage (will he be locked up for disobeying Doris?) or the dancing disco devil represent, but I'm sure they'll show up later. I wonder if the three floating rings have to do with the three primary color circles that appear on the Godkiller knife, and when Doris is saying how she's perfect.
If you haven’t already, look up Secret Pie’s new song “RGB”… has some very intriguing information on the subject potentially
OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO RIGHT
Loops are also impolite and bad, perhaps eluding to the 3 floating rings and omnipotente man, the antagonist of the show sucre is obsessed with has the rgb symbol on his hat
since we're discussing plot here, I'll point out-
When pancakes says a cosmic crime has been committed, three symbols appear. One is the RGB/three rings, one is the sun, probably representing the void, and the third is what looks like a sierpinski triangle but only extending inwards. I'm curious as to what this third symbol is, or if it's ever appeared anywhere?
edit: the triangle symbol appears on Doris' rug. It probably represents her, then. The sun is a bit more confusing, since it is on the void doors, but also appears as a sort of decoration, it seems? It is on the bunny's pillar during the court case, and also under the skull with student's hat in Doris' room. I also noticed there is a rubber duck besides the skull, which is also something of a recurring theme?
S M U G
(that artstyle seems familiar I don't know why. I originally thought of helltaker but it's not really it